The Neurotic

I was reminded yesterday why I quit the corporate world. A bunch of long @$$ meetings and nothing ever gets done in any of them. I was invited to join and give a short introduction of our association at a donors meeting for STD/AIDS by the QC health department. A can of worms was opened during an impromptu open forum after my short presentation.

Quezon City has a drive that they call 100%. They hope that eventually 100% of the designated entertainment establishments will have condoms available. In line with this, QC has a local ordinance that disallows any form of authority to use the presence of condoms (used or unused) in an establishment as proof of prostitution. The Department of Health has a similar drive. The problem is, as a police representative said, there is a certain Republic Act that was approved in 2007 that DOES allow them to persecute a "fun" establishment for having condoms in the premises. All of us present (DOH, QCHD, NGOs, HealthGov, UNICEF etc.) were dumbfounded and never even heard about this RA before.

What does this mean? No entertainment establishments will now carry condoms because of this. GG.

Talk about the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing.

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Oh and a friend of mine forwarded this to me....some guy is using my pic on his YM avatar... Bleah.



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Oh and new Fabcast!

Check it out here or here.

Thanks McVie for the great production as always!

Anger. Hate. These two things I find are the most wasteful use of personal energy a person can do. I don't know how some people can keep at it for the longest the time sometimes it doesn't seem possible.

I hate being angry, I hate prolonged hate. It drains me and I feel lethargic and wasted after. I will never understand why people would chose hate and anger over love and happiness. What could have happened in their lives that led to them to such recourse.

Recently, after several weeks of trying to work things out with the bar beside me, I was left no other option but to send an official complaint and demand letter. I can say honestly that I exhausted all possible options to find a compromise between us to no avail. Why then, even though I am the agrieved person, do I feel like I am the bad guy?

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In the recently concluded CES 2008, Gizmondo, a blog for gizmos, held a mischievous prank. Initially while watching it I thought that the prank was gold and a stroke of genius. That those guys have guts. That I bet, there were a few people who have actually thought about it, but didn't have the guts to do it. As an afterthought though, I realized that I would have probably wanted to smack those Gizmondo people for doing it if I were the aggrieved person. Maybe I'm becoming a prude in my old age. Check out the video and tell me what you guys think?

I recently stumbled upon another filipino gay blogger while just idly surfing the net that, to my surprise, had some things to say about Migs (www.manilagayguy.com) and by connection about me. They were not flattering.

I consider myself pretty level headed and open minded. I try to keep my judgments to a minimum since I don't know when the tables might be turned back on me. In fact, as far as I know I don't have any real enemies. Sure, I have people that I am uncomfortable with or disagree with...but there isn't anyone that I would consider to be the bane of my existence.

To be fair, the author of the blog post didn't have anything bad to say about me...though a guy who commented on the post did. I'm apparently a 35 year old guy who poses to be younger. By younger I would assume mid-20's. I honestly don't mind being pegged as a 35-year old guy. For the better part of my teens and early to mid 20's I have always looked older than my age. Fact is, my older brother was usually seen by those who don't know any better as the younger one. Sure, recently people have said that I look 2 to 3 years younger than my age...but what is 2 to 3 years? That is almost nothing. I digress. What riled me about the comment was the fact that I was said to be a poser.

I am actually proud of my age. I'm 30 and turning 31 in a few months. I'm proud that at 30 I have, by my standards, experienced a lot. I started working overseas when I was 23yrs old. I was one of the youngest engineers on board at the time, and to my knowledge the youngest senior engineer later on. I have completed 2 full marathons. I would like to think that I have led a very engaging life.... I am, by no means, set for life, but I am embarking on a new journey. I am happy being who I am at this point in time and I don't feel the need to lie about anything. Why should I be?

So why the post? Yes, if this is any indication, I actually let a false comment get to me. I know. Indulge me. :P

Been battling the Flu for the past few days and a cough before that. This sucks. Check back in a few.

"Sigh, How did it come to this?", I thought to myself as I was drinking my beer at 3pm. I knew I should have put more belief in my intuition and called off the third Saturday night early. "Hmmm, doesn't bode well" I whispered to my friend as we were scanning the Malate crowd at 1pm. Hopefulness got the better of us though as we said to ourselves it probably will get better. It didn't, and as far as I am concerned it got worse.

Now, some people might be surprised by this, but when I am at the gym I don't really mingle with a lot of people. Sure, I talk to my friends, but those exchanges are very short and very few. For all intents and purposes I'm in my own little ipod world while at the gym. This doesn't mean I am oblivious to my surroundings, it just means that I don't pay them any heed unless I need to. So yes, I do notice that there is a particualr group of gay men (boys really) who line up after me at the water fountain, who watch me through the glass as I sweat through combat class and who sometimes watch me change after I take a shower. They were there in Malate that particular night. Once in a party setting, I would like to think that I am a friendly and sociable person. That I am accomodating as long as its not flat out disrespectful....but really? Hugging me and latching on to my arm for the better part of the night? Seriously? I'm flattered and all, but taking a photo with me? Really? I blame my friend for that night's tragedy...it was all because these guys knew the person he was eyeing, I was sold for a few pieces of silver. As things were getting dodgy, who would have thought that it could still go downhill from there.

I met JG several years back even before I left Manila. Let's just say that our meeting left a foul taste in my mouth and was glad that I did not need to interact with him anymore. He found out that I have moved back recently, and to his credit, made a lot of effort to give his number to me. In friendster, via email, passed me his card when we bumped into each other at the gym, even told a common friend to feel free to pass me his number. To think he would get a clue. That night, obviously drugged out, he was shambling across the room towards me. He looked at me with vacant eyes and said "Twoooooneeeee!". For the second time that night, someone latched on to my arm.

All I can think was, "Sigh, How did it come to this?"

I haven't been what you would call a regular clubber by any stretch. I am more of, what I would like to call, a "seasons" kind of guy. I would sway from one "season" to another. This past month is my clubbing season. For the past 3 weeks I have been one of the faces that adorned that eclectic streets of Malate. One of the many bottles that lies empty on the table of Sonata was drank by me. One of the bodies that gyrated to the groove of Bed was mine. Those puffs of smoke that rose up snaking its way to the heavens was puffed out of my lips. I was part of the "Malate crowd".

Most people, when they first lay eyes on me, assess me as being a snob (at least a lot of people tell me so). This, I feel, actually works great for me in a place like Malate. The problem is, my snobbish exterior look is just that, its only superficial and only lasts as long as you don't talk to me. So when friends arrive and introduce me to their other acquaintances, my initial defense system doesn't deter them at all. Not that I don't like meeting new people...but sometimes, not often mind you, these people are the ones that give me grief and spoil my night.

I am getting old. I admit that. I have never denied the fact that I am 30. In fact I like revealing it to certain people at times when it challenges their idea of what a 30-ish person should be like. This is not the point of my rant however. On my second saturday night out in Malate, there seemed to be some unknownable force that changed the face of the crowd. Everywhere I looked, everyone seemed to be "minors". My friend and I were joking around as there seemed to be a school field trip being held that we weren't aware about. Sure, at 20 I started going to clubs and hangout with older (some say more wizened) friends....but damn, we were the minority then. As I resigned the night as uninteresting and sat at a corner, I saw a friend of mine among a group of his friends. I approach to say hi, glad to see someone of, more or less, equal maturity. As he proceeds with his introductions of the company he was keeping, he whispers to me "That one is 18." I groan and ask him "What do you guys even talk about? Where do they study?", trying to be sarcastic. He answers "Yes!"...next thing I know I'm standing there asking the 18-year old "Where do you study?". Sigh.

There really is so many flies! Its so irritating....I almost wish I had a tail to swish to chase them away. I even saw a dog of ours give a feeble try to chomp on one out of irritation. Now, with that rant out of the way.

My family, along with my brother's in laws went and rented two cottages at Fontana in Clark to spend the holiday weekend. Fontana itself, I must say has held up pretty well through the ages, the shops (or shop I should say, since there is only one left inside Clark itself) not so much. I did notice a few things inside the shop that I found to be of particular interest.

Lotions, lotions and more lotions..... I know where most massage parlors in Manila get their lotions. No joke, I even saw the particular brand that everyone is using and they really sell it there by the boxes. Good to know. :P

Cherries! This reminded me of Mave, actually thought of buying it....but it was just too big! Then again, Mave likes the 'fake' cherries, these were actually real ones with the seeds taken out.



Later in the night, with no restaurants in sight, we needed to take a 20mins drive to the gate of Clark to go to *gasp*....I don't want to say it....SM CITY CLARK! Yes, we drove 1.5hrs to actually go to another SM....sigh.

While walking around, my mother sees a fruit shake stand and proceeds to ask my brother to buy one. My brother comes back and says, "They have a big problem...they don't have anymore ice". Doh! We continue our tour of the mall and I feel a small pang of hunger in my stomach, I look around and see a smokey's stall (hotdog stand) nearby and decide to get one. My brother warns me "They might not have anymore hotdogs", and snickers. I get back to them empty handed. They had a different problem, they ran out of buns.....

This was another store that reminded me of Mave....good thing he is on his way here this weekend. :D