The Neurotic

This past Friday, I was invited to attend the monthly meeting of the Quezon City STD AIDS Council (QCSAC), I left with a sense of fear. The biggest revelation that really put a mark on me is that there are now 1-2 new cases of HIV infection discovered every day. Let me say that again. EVERY SINGLE F@CKING DAY! This is from 1-2 cases a month just two years ago. What is worse is that majority of this is from MSM (males having sex with other males) in the mid-20's range. And the sad thing? 80% of the people who engage in MSM know the risks and the prevention of the spread of HIV.... but only 10% actually comply. Reality check....being healthy is sexy, so be safe. Always.

Sick.
Fever wakes me up at 5am.
Sore Throat won't allow me to swallow even my own saliva without wincing in pain.
Sweating like a pig that I have to change 3 shirts in a day.

....and now....

Allergic and so itchy I can't stand it.

Took this pic just a few hours ago to show Mave how bad in a shape I'm in.




.....

sigh. Haven't been able to groom myself for 6 days..... when will it end!?!

Saturday started out such a good day for me. Was even able to go out and just take some photos... then all of a sudden I got chills. My whole body started to shiver for a good 5 minutes. It came out of nowhere and it was all I could do to go and sneak under sheets into the bed. My temp went crazy high.... and here, after 5 days. I am still sick! With an added complication of sore throat to boot. It was f@cking crazy....first time it happend to me that my health would change so rapidly in a blink of an eye. Thankfully blood work shows I don't have anything serious....but, I'm still curious what could make one feel ok one sec and shiver uncontrollably the next.

Sigh...... Now I do nothing but sleep and eat the whole day. It's unbereable. I think this is longest I have stayed at home without going out since I left for SG.... Bleah. Soooo sick...... No cigs or coffee for the past 5 days either. I'd be so healthy if I weren't so sick. >

During the past week, especially the weekend, I have attended several meetings, discussions and forums that in some ways relate to gay life in Metro Manila, or in two cases, specifically Quezon City.

One was a discussion on the implementation of the Quezon City Ordinance 1053, or an ordinance that seeks to strengthen the QC STD/AIDS council in implementing policies and measures for the prevention and control of STD/ HIV/ AIDS (yeah, that is a mouthful!). Another was the 25th international candlelight memorial for AIDS/ HIV victims in QC. The last and certainly not the least, was the forum organized by Ang LADLAD, "Know your Rights", that was posted by Vince of Discreet Manila.

I promised Vince that I would write something about the "Know your Rights" forum....but let me put that on hold first (I'll probably talk about it on the next post). What I want to talk about first is STDs and its prevention.

Some people might know that during my younger days (early 20s), I was lucky enough to have met and be surrounded by people who try to advocate safe sex between men. I have Gibbs to thank for introducing me to TLF for that. I volunteered for workshops and was kept abreast in what was happening to the community and what people are trying to do to help each other. So when gay boys of my age were all concerned about partying, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by peers who were more concerned in uplifting the gay community. This, I would say, helped shape the man I am today. Not that we didn't party then mind you, but the partying and celebration became more meaningful.

I admit, I do not have the energy of youth anymore to pursue and be on the forefront of such activities. Though I still enjoy spending time and discussing these topics from time to time. Even attending activities out of goodwill. No expectations, but to just show support. God knows these people need a lot of support in a thankless job.

HIV/ AIDS.

A lot of people think it is a problem so far away from the Philippines that a lot of people do not even talk about it. Choose to ignore it. Is it really that far? From the memorial service they mentioned that in QC alone there are 3000+ reported cases of HIV/ AIDS. 3000! In a city of 2.4 million, it may be small sure...but these things have a tendency to go up exponentially. Also note the keyword "reported". This is not the actual number as there are probably more who do not know that they have contracted the disease (20% based on normal statistics). I'm not out to scare people. It is just a wake up call. An alarming amount of these cases has its roots with the OFWs. Seamen in particular. They arrive in a port and go to sow their loins....unknowingly contract the disease and pass it on to their loved ones when they come back home to the Philippines. So this starts a cycle..... with the amount of OFWs that we have (me, being one before) this is a very real concern.

What is my point in putting this out there? Information is key. What may have been an "outside" problem before is a very real internal problem now. Sure, straight men and women still account for the majority of those infected but why wait? Why risk it? Be safe people. That is all we can ever really do. Be safe.

The start of the month, and incidentally the year I was really really sick. Phlegm factory sick. Now at the tail-end of the month I am, once again sick. I hope I recover before Chinese New Year rolls in....or, again, incidentally I'll be sick at the start of the year (again!). It really must be the change in the hours that I sleep and wake up these days or it might have been that laksa I ate the other day. Whatever the case....it seems that I will not be able to go all out in getting my summer body. Oh well.

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Oh and....we must have passed by this place on its 25th hour.....

Every time I go to Krispy Kreme I would tell myself that I will just get a piece of their simple original sugar-coated donut and a cup of coffee. The Krispy Kreme gods conspire against me..... Every time I would be there I would, as luck would have it, be there when they give out their free, fresh-from-the-conveyor donut! Talk about a sugar buzz..... Summer is so near....Damn you, Krispy Kreme deities!

Been battling the Flu for the past few days and a cough before that. This sucks. Check back in a few.

Inevitably, when among gay men, the conversation would end up with cute guys and great bodies (where else?). This leads to an eventual comparison to one's own physical attractiveness as well as some lament on why does he have such a great body. Questions would be raised and a sigh would be let out with the question "Is there still hope for my body?" lingering in the background.

Not to be condescending, but I do tell everyone that of course there is always hope. One just needs to make a very very conscious effort to follow through a long term plan. No magic diet is going to fix the problem with the flabs but rather a change is lifestyle is necessary. Consistency is the keyword here. Of course people will retort back, "That's easy for you to say, you were never as fat as I was." Well, not really, but I was larger than most people who I meet up with lament how fat they are.

What is the point of this post? No, it's not to give a sermon on living a healthy lifestyle (everyone knows I smoke and drink lots of coffee). It's to show people that yes, I do understand more or less, where they are coming from and yes it is really possible to change. Here are the proofs...

This was me then, after a year of working in Singapore (change in lifestyle and diet did a number on me).


This is me now....although not at the peak condition of my life...still I'm proud to say I practice what I preach (most of the time anyways. :P)


*This last photo was taken at Barracuda Lake, Coron Island Palawan less than a week ago. It's supposedly one of the cleanest lake in the archipelago. There were literally several prawns climbing on to our feet when we stepped in.